Some Reading | 2016 MTV Video Music Awards

First of all I was happy to note that this show was relying almost entirely on established talent instead of new mediocrity…


Rihanna opens, which I wasn’t expecting because of…reasons. Then we learn that she’s going to perform three more times…anyway, I was bored with that opener despite the lively Pepto-bismol production.

Key and Peele are hosting and I was here for it…at first.

Diddy is now back to Puff Daddy and he’s wearing a kimono. Definitely here for that. He had to accept a vma on Drake’s behalf and said he would have to fight him for it.

Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj…okay so I think she maintained a pretty decent vocal while BIKING and Rihanna can’t even perform for 10 minutes straight. No I still couldn’t understand what she was singing, but at least this time there was a reason plus she and Nicki looked great (I need that pink bodysuit).

...and I need Nicki's boots.

Alicia Keys comes out with a somewhat impromptu-ish performance (at least I wasn’t prepared for all that). She presented an award to Calvin Harris who neglected to thank Taylor Swift for writing and singing on “This is What You Came For”.

Future…I honestly didn’t know at first because all of these trap negros sound the same to me.

…and now another negro I don’t always understand, Kanye West. At some point he calls himself his own role model, which I expected and then he made a comment about the systematic disenfranchisement of black people also, he further dragged Taylor; scattered as usual, but still, there was a valid point.

TEYANA TAYLOR HAS ONE OF THE BEST PERFORMANCES I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE OMG. She is unreal.

...and it was reported that her post baby body has nothing to do with the gym...kill me.

Now Rihanna had finished her blunt in time for her second performance, it’s very dancehall this time…so I was still bored.

Rita Ora makes her customary appearance and helps introduce Nick Jonas who is also becoming a customary performer…at least Pepsi thought it was epic because I didn’t care--except for the obvious:

I'm so proud of Miss Prada tho :`)

BEYONCE

I'm writing her in for president.

She opened with a very powerful tribute to those murdered by white cops then gifted us with a cosmic, Afro-centric mini Lemonade concert. I was lifted.

BRITNEY

The shadow visual was sleek and fresh and her look was on point. I felt like that white rapper got way too much time. Then she sings someone else’s song? And then the white rapper keeps rapping like…? And then he had the nerve to try and make out with her?? Did they know that Bey was before her so they were just like fuck it just do whatever…? I was a bit disappointed with some of the choices made here, but still very pleased with her overall production and presentation.

The Final Five (minus Gabby who was probably just trying to avoid Twitter niggers) present an award to the Queen, who looked regal as fuck, wow:

Goddess looks

At this point Rihanna has caught her breath for another performance…she had trouble hitting any key for her "Needed Me" rendition, but her talk-singing for the rest was actually quite good along with the dance performance.

Her face says it all.

Halsey and the Chainsmokers…they should’ve gone with the other white girl and performed that “Don’t Let Me Down” song. I was at least here for Halsey’s appearance, reminiscent of a much more talented star…

...at least she knows who's more original.

(from the "Try Again" video")

Then Rihanna closes the show with her final wailing…it was in key and she looked amazing. Her fuck buddy presented her with the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard award.

Unpopular opinion: I don't like them as a couple.

This year's vmas was iconic as fuck in my opinion, I'm not even going to attempt any negative critiquing because it was an enjoyable viewing with way more highlights than low points. For the first time I actually stayed up and re-watched the unedited broadcast until it went off; first to see how Queen Bey kept that Fendi fur on while thrashing around, then to see Queen Britney curve that white dude and finally to ask God why he didn't make me look like Teyana Taylor.

Fashion Faves


Normani...I'm legit counting down the days until she goes solo, this girl is a star.

Naomi...super fucking model.

Kim K...sex on wheels.

Halsey...the girl made some great style choices that night. I loved the sheer jumpsuit and she actually looked like she took a shower.

Desiigner...the slickest of all the men (most of whom looked amazing too). I think his lack of a shirt actually adds to the sophistication in a weird way.

Britney...clean sexy looks

Nicki...this is royal blue--RO-YAL.

Beyoncé...front to back, this look took my breath away.