Sunday, July 5, 2015

Some Reading | Big Brother 17 Week 1

I'm kind of a superfan of the show and I used to do reviews for each episode on my Tumblr. This season I've decided to do weekly reviews on here instead. They will be blunt. They will be illustrated. Let's proceed...

EPISODE 1: The first players

James...doesn’t know he’s Asian and his white parents refuse to tell him.
Meg...has a gay best friend so she probably thinks she's better than everyone.
Jace...could be a physical threat with the x games skill set.
Audrey...better be as smart as she is pretty.
Austin/Judice…his alter ego will serve him better than his artsy Masters degree.
Da’vonne…Yay. Black girl.
Clay...also better be as smart as he is pretty.
Shelli...says she ripped a house apart by herself…she already needs to chill.

First Impressions...

Shelli wants to jump Clay’s bones and he’s down...and I think it’s gross.

Da’vonne wastes no time and starts playing the game from the moment of lady.

Austin tries the same game of deception, but I don’t think anyone is going to think of his injuries when he’s scaling a wall in a physical competition.

James likes Meg and no one likes James.

Audrey used to be a man. I hear that's real trendy these days.

Moving on...

First alliance baby: Audrey Da’vonne and Shelli…unlikely and weak considering Shelli is clearly looking for a boy husband and Da'vonne deadass doesn’t believe Audrey’s transgender story--that actually made me laugh, I don’t even care.

Battle of the Block is back. Loves it. It keeps people fighting all the time, which is great. However they are doing the most with the twists this season, apparently there will be one every week called the "BB Takeover". Twist one is reveled as the Twin Twist; they have already made an entire season out of this so it’s whatever, I honestly don't even care who it is.

HOH Competition #1
James fucks shit up. This would make him a threat, but he’s still going to be perceived as "a little Asian dude" so probably not.

EPISODE 2: and the other ones...

I’m noticing all of the house guests are really young, like under 40…I was hoping they would have that older/wiser player to balance out the young and dumb bullshit.

Liz…She has blonde hair and a ditzy personality. She uses the word "bae". She's irrelevant right from the jump.
Jason…is gay and lives in his mom’s basement. Nuff said.
Vanessa…she looks like Iggy Azalea so I kind of hate her.
John…his voice is annoying and he also has no lips, but I love that he went to dental school solely for money.
Becky…is the whitest person on the show. She will go far.
Steve…I’m rooting for him. Someone has to.
Jeff and Jackie from the Amazing Race are brought in. According to the clips, Jackie is a spitfire so I like her and Jeff looks like a Baldwin brother so I will try to like him. Steve makes a very good point that they are basically already an alliance making them a target.

HOH Comp #2 and other Notes...

The second HOH competition is even more gross than the first. Why did they put even more slim on them when they were beamed up? Da'vonne probably would have thrown a fit.

I love how HOH winner Jason made a deal with Jackie solely based on her shoes. His brand of sassy gay is growing on me.

I also like how Da'vonne is literally the only one playing the game: “The dudes get in power and send the girls packin’ not season 17, not on my watch, I’m not havin’ it.” She stays ready.

Da'vonne and Vanessa might get rewarded for something. I wonder how this will affect her way-too-soon alliance.

EPISODE 3: First Moves 

Everyone seems to be getting a little cliquey already, some even boldly stating their alliances (Jace and Austin) however, Jeff and Jackie are pretending they’re not in an alliance, but they’re literally IN BED TOGETHER.

BB Takeover from the Amazing Race guy gives Da'vonne and Vanessa the power to be not nominated or evicted and pick someone for that same privilege. Vanessa and Da'vonne strategically pick people to take to safety…Da'vonne figured her rather obscure alliance would be too obvious if she chose one of the members. I thought that was rather irrational.

Steve struggles to hide the fact that winning Big Brother is really the only way he can stop being such a loser.

Shelli needs to back up off Clay’s little mama’s boy ass and go fix those random pink tips in her hair. Da'vonne and Audrey are not impressed, which basically eliminates whatever loose alliance they'd formed previously.

The two HOHs start fishing for pawns with Jace as the first backdoor target (his workout regime and streaking was just too much to bear). It's all pretty smooth until they get to Steve who is too nervous to agree to anything despite the fact that he had an opportunity to negotiate (a loser AND an idiot).

Nominations: John and Becky from Jason; Steve and Jackie from James.

Like, Steve looked so sad and upset and it kind of broke my heart. Then here comes Becky with her white woman tears--so sneaky. I was living for it.

Becky and John win safety. I was rooting for Steve, but I’m not mad. I wanna see if Becky makes good on her intention of going after Jason for nominating her. She's now an active floater to keep an eye on.

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