Some Reading | 2016 American Music Awards

I was expecting an entertainment level of status quo mediocrity to be honest...

I thought at this point Bruno didn’t need an introduction, but there was Gigi Lumpface and Jay Pharoah bringing out his latest black cookout act. I didn’t care about the song, but I’m sure it will be a radio hit if it isn't already.

By the way, I remember when Rihanna opened the awards six years ago and it is STILL one of the best openings I’ve ever seen (she wasn’t smoking as much back then so her vocals were actually there).

Gigi Lumpface has the voice of a drunk, fat sorority girl? Her Melania Trump face was kind of funny…but nothing else in their monologue was.

21 Pilots wins something that is not for rap…we’re off to a good start.

One of the more talented boys from One Direction had some sleepy ass song to perform…I took a food break, but I will say that his voice sounded very pleasant in the background.

Then I had to sit back down for my secret obsession Fifth Harmony. They performed "That's my Girl" (it's a jam); the production was a little sloppy, but I thought they did an amazing job and their stylist didn’t screw anyone over this time...

even Ally looks good!

Drake wins something…apparently he has some record with Michael Jackson or something I don’t care about.

Halsey and the Chainsmokers tried to turn up with that annoying song that says at number one. The only thing I liked was her outfit and bald head. 

not a bad looking elf tho...

James Bay left the realm of Lindon to give a very soulful performance. I did like his vocal performance especially when it got really quiet during the bridge part and I could hardly hear what he was singing like he forgot his own lyrics or something…it was good. 

Shawn Mendes…I don’t know what that little white boy was yelling about--and then they had the nerve to let him do a second song with those scream-cry vocals, but based on audience cutaways I was supposed to like it…?

The Weeknd…I like "Starboy" a lot, but I miss his old hair for reasons…it was a lively performance and he actually looked great; I think fucking Bella Hadid improved his style.

Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj…"Side to Side" is growing on me…Queen Nicki was out there  stroking her puss on network television (ABConnectedToDisney at that) and they did not crop or cutaway. What a time to be alive. 

Teyana Taylor almost fell over walking out to present an award and she of course turned it into a dance move--LOVE HER.

...strategically cropped in hopes that one day she will get her music career back on track and start winning awards.

John Legend (introduced by his potty-mouthed wife) did some song that will probably end up in the background of a life insurance commercial.

...this was the most exciting part of his performance.

21 Pilots…I liked the masks not only because they both really weren’t much to look at, but because it genuinely added interest to their stage performance, which actually had pretty legit production. Good for them. 

Justin Bieber phones in another performance. I’m so bored at this point.

Lady Gaga…she did amazing. I’m so happy people can see her more as a vocalist rather than just a flamboyant visual performer. 

That Jay Pharoah is getting more and more annoying--are impressions the only trick for this pony?

Green Day performed with all the faux rage they had during the Bush administration. I’m not impressed with whites complaining about the problems they created. 

Billy Jo must be a vampire--he looked GREAT tho

Sting sounded like shit...hope he's not still charging people to hear those dried up vocals.

Nicki Minaj is back with DJ Khaled…I still don’t know who the Negro with the bun on his head was, but he was lip syncing too hard…Future and Rick Ross were also present…lip syncing extra hard too, like isn’t rapping just talking? How can they not talk? Queen Nicki did deliver live vocals however little they were.

Selena Gomez was trying to tell women to stop showing their bodies on Instagram…but she’s out here….I mean….and wasn't she Justin Bieber's fuck buddy for like EVER? I still love that bitch regardless.

...look at her...judging your whole life right through the screen.

Kendrick Lamar and Maroon 5…I already didn't like the song and I’ve never heard it before. It literally sounded like every mediocre pop song I’ve ever heard combined together…yet another advertisement ready jingle.


I thought the show was pretty generic overall. There were some memorable moments, most notably Prince winning for best soundtrack; his sister’s speech was so moving. Performance-wise, Lady Gaga proved why she deserves her icon status without even putting shoes on and considering 21 Pilots is relatively new, I think they made a pretty decent impression even though they’ll be nobody in five years.


Fashion Faves

This was my favorite look of hers...had to crop her face out because...her face.

The more I look at this dress, the more I love it. So much levity and sass; I loved the way her textured hair complemented the volume of the dress.

Keke Palmer serving Lil Kim/Toni Braxton/Mariah Carey '90s diva looks-SO HERE FOR IT.

When Ciara walked out on stage I almost didn't notice she was pregnant because of the optical illusion with the bodice. She looked so classic and radiant.

Gaga looked slick af. The Joanne era is her best style era as far as I'm concerned.

Teyana continues to solidify her sex symbol status.

Zoe Saldana is all about taking a risk and sometimes it doesn't pay off, but this time I was really charmed by this patriotic sequined look.

I can't always remember his name, but Nial Horan was the best of the men; this suit print was gorgeous and so well-tailored.