Friday, February 17, 2017

Some Reading | 2017 Grammy Awards

I wonder how drunk I would get if I took a shot for every political speech made at these awards shows...I'd probably blackout.

pretty but pitchy
It opens with Adele’s overrated and overplayed ass. She looked better than she sounded.

James Corden’s physical comedy would have been funnier if it was unintentional.

…this show is starting off so annoyingly  un-American…basically the rap yelling in British irritated me. I muted the tv.

And now Jennifer Lopez…American enough for me.

Chance sounded like he was about to go on a Christian crusade...I have never heard any of his songs (I don't think at least), but I was happy for him.

Then Michael Jackson’s daughter introduces her father’s wannabe…

The Weeknd feat. Daft Punk…he performed my least favorite song on his album…but the little production Daft Punk did made it bearable. I was actually enjoying it towards the end.

Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban…she always serves vocals.

21 Pilots wins something and these white boys take their pants off…and the reason was so stupid and their legs were so pale.

Ed Sheeran…his music is so forgettable to me…and so was the performance.

who dis?
Ryan Seacrest introduces two whites whose names I missed--doesn't matter, I was unimpressed.

Beyoncé…I’m not sure when she started or ended I just know whatever she was doing eased my menstrual cramps. Also feel like her words were meant to address the current state of fuckery towards the end (the lyrics in the song and the speech together).

I mean…everything after this is basically background noise.

...then there was a fluff piece where Blue Ivy and her friend had to teach a bunch of irrelevant people how to sing Sweet Caroline. soon as I see this '90s track suit I'm like, here we go... :/
Bruno Mars…I feel like he does the same song and performance and even outfit all the time it’s like he’s so obligated to be there and it’s always well done, but still, so done before.

Katy Perry and Skip Marley…the production was on point, can’t say much about her vocals…maybe because she was out of breath from dancing like Ellen…why was she dancing like that? Where did those Ellen DeGeneres moves come from? I have to listen to the studio version of the song because her vocals weren’t really selling it.

Gary Clark Jr. and William Bell…I could literally listen to Gary on guitar all day, this man is a treasure.

The way Blu looked up at her when she came out looking like a cosmic deity made me want a daughter.
Beyoncé wins for best urban contemporary album…I love how it’s against the law to play music over her thank you speech and for her to win against white people.

Maren Morris and Alicia Keys…They both sold the song really well, I mean Alica was yelling so hard, but it was in tune and the other girl still sounded decent. I liked it actually.

...then Adele comes out again…with the creepiest fucking version of Fast Love ever…and she fucks up like…gurl. I cannot. Do they even have time? I know I don’t have time and Beyoncé would NEVER.

Laverne Cox struts on to the stage and presents Lady Gaga and Metallica…which was just as awkward as James Hetfield’s mic not working in the first part of the performance.

Also, I don’t know why she was moving like she was on flakka.

Sturgill Simpson…………………um I LIKED it…kind of a lot actually. He had a saxophone so…I mean, it was really good in the most unexpected way.

Bee Gees tribute from Demi and Tori and others…I feel like that’s all these two ever do at award shows…the whole thing was lackluster, but at least the bee gee guy seemed to enjoy Demi’s yelling.

Adele wins something over Beyoncé...the usual blasphemy.

Solange appears (apparently cutting off that white dude with Adele, which was funny to me)…she looks like a water goddess…she introduces A Tribe Called Quest who give the current president a new nickname.

It was loud and legit.

The Prince Tribute was kind of lit with The Time and Bruno Mars…they should have just ended it there—but NO THERE’S MORE???

Well, I’m about to be brief:

Pentatonix—did fine

Chance the Rapper Kirk Franklin and Tamela Mann--amen

John Legend and Cynthia Erivo--real pretty

Somewhere in there I saw a Target commercial where Carly Rae Jepson showcased a new haircut and some Negro with ketchup on his head rapped a bit.

I’m not gonna lie I fell asleep and when I woke up Adele was talking about Beyonce and her black friends…
I had to include this photo in case people forgot the one time a black woman was allowed to win album of the year--I'm pretty sure this is why we keep forgiving Lauryn Hill for being...Lauryn Hill.

This was the most sonically diverse Grammys I’ve ever seen performance-wise (obviously the same white mediocrity was still rewarded as usual). Even though I didn’t particularly like every performer at least they showcased the best quality version of what was being presented whether it was a country act, rock act or hip hop. They really didn’t have to go on for so long, but at least more than a few people made it worth it.

Fashion Faves...there were a lot of people literally trolling the red carpet this year so I actually included some people I had never even heard of because they were part of the few who didn’t look like shit…

Rihanna...the energy of the color combo along with the simple styling made this one of my favorite looks from her.

Charli xcx...modified retro glam done right. The tailoring is everything. 

Solange...sun goddess looks, an allusion to her sister's production.

Demi Lovato...this is legit the best she's looked in a long time; loving the Kim K styling.

Jennifer Lopez...I mean when does she not look good? I love this spring color and the editorial-worthy design.

Shaun Robinson...I actually really like this dress mainly because I would wear it to a lowkey cocktail party I would never get invited to, I just love the simple glamour.

Desiigner...the only male who consistently slays the carpet.

Mya...sleek and sexy.

Cynthia erivo...I have never heard of her, but this is literally one of my favorite red carpet looks of all time, this electric blue, the texture, the fit, the styling--PERFECTION.

Kriss Mincey...I have also never heard of her, but I had to include her because she looks adorable from head to toe.


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