Monday, February 9, 2015

Some Reading | 2015 Grammy Awards

The line up was better than last year’s, but would it be a snooze fest or nah?

LL Cool J was employed again. He’s kind of a coon, but at least he knows how to pretend a show is poppin’ even when it’s not (like last year).

Angus not so Young look at those knee wrinkles and Father Time on the drums.
AC/DC was the opener…I appreciate their legend, I really do, but starting off with such a geriatric representation of the music landscape was setting the bar a little low as far as excitement goes. I’ve said this several times before and I’ll say it again, award shows need to showcase what’s new and fresh instead of constantly recycling the same old acts. Nevertheless, Brian Johnson’s pipes haven’t aged a day, they did an amazing job.
UK singer-songwriter Sam Smith is the biggest winner of the night, taking home four Grammys. Photo: Robyn Beck/AFP/Getty Images
Everyone’s favorite chubby choir boy, Sam Smith gets best new artist…okay this is the only white person getting rewarded for doing black things that I will just BARELY tolerate.

Ariana Grande…she went with the full pony tonight and the make up was on point. I thought the production was effortless and matched the song perfectly. However, there was something unexpectedly strained about her vocal, maybe she’s so used taking soaring notes the whole time and that mid-range isn’t her thing? I don’t know, but I was less than satisfied with her vocal performance, which is shocking to me. Lukewarm overall.
I thought that dress was trying way too hard, but it was the most exciting part of the performance.
Jessie J and Tom Jones…It was whatever…and also an indicator that there would be a lot of throwaway moments in this year’s show like there were last year.

Pharrell wins best pop solo performance. Well deserved, that song was everywhere and I actually thought it missed out on some awards last season.

Miranda Lambert…first off, the diet she’s been on has been working for her; she looked like a rockstar. I don’t know the song she was singing (nor do I care), but her performance was cute and lively and I really appreciated that.

Then Sam Smith wins another award and says he owes his career to being fat.

Kanye West…I hate rappers trying to sing…but he used autotune and it’s kind of a trademark thing for him…and the production was as minimalist as possible…it was all very Kanye.

Sing to me: Madonna even wore a floor length gold sequin dress as she sang with a female backing singer
This photo from is from a totally different event, but I believe that is the background singer they cut away to at one point during the performance, she basically deserves a Grammy.
Madonna…I’m convinced she’s senile, but there’s a reason why her concerts are forever sold out. She didn’t sing much live, but that one back up singer killed it.

Beck wins something…can’t name one song by him off the top of my head, but like, I’m sure he’s somewhere in my iPod for some reason…he’s been on the scene for damn near 30 years so even though I might not have listened to his latest offering, I’m not going to pretend I don’t know his voice or who he is.

Credit, MrsBey on Tumblr

Beyoncé wins something. All hail the King.

Ed Sheeran, John Mayer, Questlove...Why does this ugly ginger always look so greasy? Was Questlove really necessary? I felt like it was another token black people in the background moment...another snooze set, but John Mayer looked fine as hell with all that ‘50s styling.
Can anyone identify this man? I feel like I should know, but I kind of don't care. He looked like a hippie unibomber, which I found draw-worthy.

Then yet another old artist performed…I didn’t even catch the name because I can’t understand that ginger’s accent. He gave all those white people in the audience their lives though (King Bey was standing and clapping, but I think she was just being nice because she looked a little confused).

She should have worn this on the red carpet.
Adam Levine and Gwen Stefani…whoever Gwen's surgeon is deserves an award for keeping her face snatched up and looking exactly the same since I was in middle school. She was definitely giving more face than vocals. The performance was kinda boring, but the song itself was the type of tune that plays in the background of a climatic scene on a popular tv drama so I guess it was okay.
Annie seen here, taking us all to church.
Hozier and Annie Lennox…this Hozier dude seems pretty cool and his voice is good enough where I don’t want him to be a one hit wonder. Even though she made the unforgivable mistake of coming for Beyonce, Lennox did get it done and was the only old white person who blew me away; her performance woke me up and was definitely a highlight of the night.
"The" (credit house-of-xo on Tumblr)

Then the Weeknd comes out and reads like he’s been smoking reefer all night. Adorable.

...I wasn't clapping.

Pharrell, Long Long and way too many other people…I was so confused by that cacophonous remix of that overplayed song it was like he was trying to have a moment, but he just tried too hard or something. Usually Pharrell is charming, but tonight I was kind of’s like he was blatantly trying to kill the song. It was all just so loud and stressful.

Then Obama came on reminded us that he’s a feminist and some girl named Brooke basically explained the real story behind 50 Shades of Grey.

credit: CoverGirl on Tumblr
Katy Perry…you know, it’s really kind of rude that she’s been the game for as long as she has and has created so many super cute pop songs and whatnot, but has gotten zero Grammys. The production was very striking (loved the shadow dancing) and I really appreciated her vocal delivery.
Tony Bennet and Lady Gaga…first of all, I’m totally here for earthling Gaga; she looks fantastic and she proved she isn’t just a crazy costume gimmick and she gave one of the most charismatic vocals of the night (some even comparing it to the late, great Amy Winehouse). The performance was yet another highlight for me.

Usher (doing a Stevie wonder tribute)…another snooze--I mean, a very well performed, beautifully sang snooze, but a snooze nonetheless regardless of Stevie wandering in playing the harmonica.

Eric Church and some other bitch that I wasn’t paying enough attention to get the name of… I’m hittin' the REM cycle now.
So sexy and pissed off and just EVERYTHING. This was one of my favorite fashion looks of the night. Credit

Rihanna, Kanye and Paul McCartney…I don’t like that OneTwoThreeSeconds or whatever song at all, but Rihanna looked AMAZING. She actually sang the crap out of that song; I was impressed with the amount of energy they put into a performance that was basically a chant and some old guy on a guitar.

Mary J. Blige and Sam Smith…another overplayed song; at least Mary elevated its performance.

Juanes…he’s sexy as hell, but another who cares performance.


He really didn't even need to say it; she stopped the world so we already knew. credit: Beyonce4world on Tumblr.
…oh and Kanye attempted to remind people that Beyoncé should be winning every category she’s in. It was another highlight.

Sia…It's maddening that she didn't win any awards last night considering her contributions to the industry, but her performance was so superb. I don't think Kristen Wiig can add dancer to her resume, but Maddie was delightful and the whole production was one of the more memorable highlights.

Beck and Chris Martin…bathroom break.


The costuming and production visuals were reminiscent of Solonge’s iconic wedding photo. It was so epic and just like sort of changed my life. I love the part where she looked like she caught the spirit and then when she waved her hand and the music stopped. I felt so blessed.
...she was literally handing out blessings.
John Legend and Common…proving the Grammys is not as white as the Oscars (oh and can you imagine the scandal if they had cut them off like they did last year?).

Fashion Faves...I selected only images I thought represented epic fashion moments not just glam looks:

Nicki Minaj continues to ascend to new heights of slayage.
Ciara was breathtaking actually.
So glam and gorgeous that I'm not even mad about her cootchie slit.
...just head to toe; so unreal.
Now, her dress was kinda ugly to me, but I have never noticed how stunning she is until she snipped that hair off. Zendaya was reborn.

I was going to show her red carpet shot instead, but this is so bossed up I can't even express my feelings. Kim just looks like an empress sitting amongst peasants and I'm living for it.
Finally, the belle of the ball in the gowniest of gowns, Rihanna never fails to amaze me...
...even the sweet, lightly tousled styling was so epic...
...such a historical fashion moment.

...and now, the not so wonderful...going from least offensive to WTF:

...I'm pretty sure this dress wasn't done.
It's like she went back to her "Can't be Tamed" wardrobe...
She straight up has man face and this looks like a horrendous prom gown.
I love her so so much and this just made me a little sad.
  It's interesting because if this hair had been on a black woman with natural hair, it would have been beautiful...interesting and disgustingly ironic. Photo credit.       
**all unlinked photos from Tumblr

Although there were some wonderful highlights, I would have loved to see more new artists that I have never seen before or heard of, instead artists I haven’t heard from or didn’t care to see. However, if we focus on the positive: Beck, who has been around since Beyoncé was singing “no no no no no”, provided Kanye with the opportunity to pull his first Kanye of 2015; Obama got people talking about violence against women despite the presence of NFL players presenting and Chris Brown being nominated; and finally, Iggy did not win anything so that’s a victory for us all. Overall, leaps and bounds better than last year and definitely exciting enough to build anticipation for the next one.

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