Showing posts with label Christina Aguilera. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christina Aguilera. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Some Reading | 2013 American Music Awards

Just seeing the lineup of performers was enough to let me know it was going to be an awesome show...

Katy Perry opens with some cultural misappropriation singing "Unconditionally" while wearing a traditional Oriental garb.


I think the acoustics were little off because I couldn’t really hear her sometimes and she sounded like she was yelling other times (that was probably her fault though). Nevertheless, the stage production was gorgeous--yay for white people making POC’s cultures into costumes and then calling us sensitive when we get mad.

image

Obviously, I could have done without the perpetually overexposed Pitbull hosting. I still fucking hate him.

The Performances

One Direction...Harry Styles has an unexpectedly lovely voice, but I’m still unimpressed with any boyband that doesn’t dance.

Ariana Carey Grande...The girl is clearly a star. I liked that she kept her incredible vocals restrained too; it was powerful and elegant and definitely one of my favorite highlights of the show.

Imagine Dragons...They make percussion so sexy; their performance was superb.

Kesha and Pitbull…Can we talk about how amazing and gorgeous the Glitter Queen looked? She’s always talked about how she wants to go country and I guess this was her first attempt. The single will get annoying after a while (mainly because Pitbull is on it), but for now, it’s a jam. 

I guess fringe shorts and cowboy boots are as country as she's gonna get.


Justin Timberlake (and like, a shit ton of people I assume from Tennessee)…I liked the song better than any other single he’s released. His performance wasn’t a standout moment for me, but I still thought he did a fabulous job.

Florida Georgia Line…Never heard anything from them, but apparently they're a one-hit wonder from the country scene. I get how this song was a hit because it was catchy, but the performance was awesome only because Nelly came out and I started having flashbacks--his first album was the soundtrack to a good part of my high school life.

Rihanna’s Icon Award and performance…when Bill Maher was reading off her stats I forgot that she’s a constantly high, Barbadian hoodrat.

image
During her speech she had the nerve to thank her glam team, yet her hair looked like something black girls do with their weave before they go to bed...I wasn't feelin' it.

I liked her passion during her performance of "Diamonds", but something about her delivery reminded me of Whitney Houston after the crack.

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis…I always like Macklemore’s energy, but I think they’re on their 13th out of 15 minutes.

Jennifer Lopez tribute to Celia Cruz…No, she can’t sing worth shit and she probably learned all that Spanish the night before, but she’s a consistently flawless performer and she was my favorite of the night.



A Great Big World and Xtina (I still call her that)…"Say Something" is one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. Christina looked sleek, skinny and perfect and her unusually understated vocals sounded amazing. God bless whoever has been styling her and making sure she’s not eating so much.



Kendrick Lemar…I’m not a huge rap fan, but I recognize this guy’s talent and I like his quiet charisma on stage.

Lady Gaga and R. Kelly…I live for her theatrics. She totally rocked it as usual, but I was kinda sad when it ended rather awkwardly.



Luke Bryan…I found his random body rolls rather shocking...I’m just not used to seeing lanky white men who can dance.

TLC and Lil’ Momma…omg, CRYING.


Her career might be in a questionable state, but Lil’ Momma performed her lil’ heart out and I hope it’s a new beginning for her.

Miley Cyrus…that cat…it was the creepiest, cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I thought it would go away, but it stayed there...singing and crying...I took it as a sign that she’s finally running out of ideas to keep us talking about her. Regardless of the odd theatrics, the bitch can really sing and her vocal performance was on point.

image
...yeah, I this is what I would've come up with after scouring the internet for new ideas too.

Notes about the awards...

Not only am I happy Robin Thicke’s modestly talented ass didn’t win anything, I didn't care for two out of the three nominees for the Rhythm and Blues categories being white…ironically, I am also puzzled by Rihanna having anything to do with those categories at all given that she’s dancehall pop at best. Moreover, even though I appreciate his shout out to Trayvon Martin, Macklemore does not deserve to win anything over Jay-Z, even Akon laughed when his name was read for Favorite Rap/Hip Hop Album. I'm just kind of over award shows giving awards to people who are "hot right now" rather than those who are actually talented.

The Fashion Favorites

At this point in her waning career, Ciara's job is to look this sexy at all times.

Perfection.

I loved the bright yellow against her raven hair. This look had a little retro sexiness to it that I found very appealing.

Always amazing. I thought the shaggy hair was a nice complement to that structured Julien MacDonald dress.

*all photos found on Tumblr.

Although there weren’t really any over the top moments (hence the lack of bad illustrations), it was refreshing to watch a show all about spectacular performances rather than creating a spectacle.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Some Reading | 2013 Billboard Music Awards

First of all, does anyone even remember anything other than this?:
image

No? Okay, well let's refresh...

Bruno Mars…I love how he always does the cutest little 8 counts in the middle of his songs that look like he and his band just came up with it backstage 20 minutes ago.

As for Tracy Morgan hosting, I could only understand every other joke, plus I saw someone describe him as a coon on Twitter. Accurate.

Selena Gomez…The production looked like someone tee peed the stage; I mean Bieber’s Rihanna isn’t the best singer or dancer, but she tried and I thought the Egyptian/Bollywood thing was cute.

image

The Band Perry…I’ve heard very little about them, but I enjoyed it. That girl’s fringe dress was amazing and the performance was really well produced; they made a fantastic impression.

Icona Pop…One-Hit Wonders in the making. That is all.

Then Psy had a dance off with Tracy…can someone please call immigration already?

Chris Brown…I’ve seen Usher do that performance 10 years ago…and Ne-Yo too. And he sounded fucking terrible when he wasn’t lip-synching. Ugh…can hoodrat black girls quit supporting him already? His Karate sequence reminded everyone why he should and should not have a career at the same time…

Oh, and good for Orianthi for doing whatever she can to ride that dead Michael Jackson wave.

Speaking of which, how long is Carly Rae Jepson going to ride this Call Me Maybe wave--seriously, HOW LONG?

Macklemore and Ryan Lewis…He obviously thrifts at Salvation Colony.
image
That jacket probably was .99 cents though...
 
I’m not always into the whole white rapper thing, but the man actually put on a good performance complete with ‘90s looking dancers and a man in full on Atlanta church wear. I was here for it.

Taylor Swift…It’s hard not to hate her all the time, but that had to be one of my favorite performances from her. 

image
 
She danced with the Jabbawockeez, gave me at least 75 percent live vocals and the outfit was cuteness. Well done my fellow tall skinny bitch.

Kacey Musgraves…I wasn’t here for that depressing ass shit…mainly because the lyrics in the second verse were basically my life.  And my life is depressing. NEXT.

Madonna Tribute…Watching her twerk in that montage was uncomfortable, but I have to admit, at 96 years old, that bitch is killing it and she still shits on all of the new girls.

Justin Fucking Bieber…Ugh. Usher, come get your understudy. I’m so over it. 

Then my girl Taylor won in a category where One Direction was nominated twice--TWICE. This bitch cannot be held down.

Pitbull and Christina Aguilera…The only thing worth noting was that she actually looked skinny and like, GOOD.  

via Tumblr
 
That dress fit her, the tan wasn’t hurting my eyes and the hair and make up was on point. Now if she can just start selling number one records again…

Then Miley comes out to present an award in all her Balmain fierceness.

via Tumblr
....her “bitch please” expression after saying Bieber’s name gave me so much life. 

Miguel…He started off sexy, but as soon as that screen lifted and he decided to jump across the crowd in those tight ass pants and slippery ass shoes…sigh. ‘Twas unfortunate.

I just hope people aren’t only going to remember him for that performance because he actually is quite talented.

Ed Sheeren…His music is a direct contrast to his face.

Pitbull and JLo…She basically gave us a Britney performance from 10 years ago…oh, and in case her outfit looked familiar…

via Tumblr

Will.I.Am and Justin Bieber…Will could have done without the Canadian baggage. Obviously.

David Guetta, Akon and Ne-Yo…I hate Akon about as much as I hate Pitbull, but I’m here for Ne-Yo because he gives me vocals and sometimes second-rate Usher choreo.

Justin wins something else…apparently he was too damn young to be winning it and there was booing and he talked about gimmicks and not speaking of him becoming the new Lindsay Lohan.

image

MOVING ON.

Nicki Minaj and Lil’ Syrup Sippin’ Cockroach Wayne…First off, when she walked out, I said YES NICKI; that was one of my favorite performance looks from her. Her rap flow was on--AND THEN SHE TWERKED THOSE BUTT IMPLANTS LIKE A PRO.

image
Epic levels of delicious ratchetness. I was here for it and I’m not even close to sorry.

When Janelle Monae and Erykah Badu came out, I immediately realized they would make an amazing lesbian couple...

I ship them. (photo via Tumblr)

Prince…He closed the show with his kick ass all-female band and natural hair. It was electric.

image
Only one arm of fringe needed. Only one.


Overall, probably one of the worst awards shows I’ve ever seen. It was mostly a bunch of amateurs with a lot to learn and forgettable performances from people bringing nothing new to the table. At least Miguel gave us something to laugh at for the next few days.




Day 21...doing my best to avoid the bullshit.