I’m not sure how prepared I was for the inevitable ridiculousness…
Nicki opens with an amazing Carnival style performance—brilliant perfection all around…and then some skinny white girl hijacked her stage…
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| Nicki with a fan. |
...I just want to know how much money changed hands for that to go down.
Macklemore is back in action after giving us a break…that song was just so dumb and the performance was so extra and so unnecessary. I’m trying to forget it ever happened really.
Miley’s first look was actually amazing…from the neck down (white dreds stay irking me).
The Weeknd…I’m not feelin’ “I Can’t Feel my Face” at all. At least he was high energy as opposed to just high.
Rebel Wilson comes out dressed like a demon. I was disturbed.
Nicki wins for Anaconda and then takes a moment to show white people what an actual angry black woman looks like. I’m guessing it was staged because it’s nothing but coons and buffoons on MTV, but I could tell by Miley’s reaction she wasn’t fully prepared or possibly not even fully aware of the joke—that made it more delightful.
Then Miley went on to use her white privilege to make yet another a joke about police brutality in one of her filler skits; she was joined by a few coons, one of them happens to be fucking Kylie Jenner.
Taylor wins something over Nicki
AND BEYONCE…and then some Asian dude declares that she is the highest of the high most talented most beautiful thing on earth……….I wish Beyoncé was there for the cutaway. Actually, I just wish Beyoncé was there period.
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| One of my favorite performance looks of the night. |
Demi Lovato… “Cool for the Summer” was released a little late considering fall is basically here, but it’s a jam and she LOOKED GOOD…
....however, didn’t Britney warn her about associating with Miss Itchy Areola? Nobody asked for it.
Justin Bieber…I didn’t even know who it was at first because his brand of white mediocrity has always been so indistinguishable to me…he literally sings all the songs Chris Brown doesn’t feel like singing….he clearly neglected his fuckboy black friends and went to all his rehearsals because the dancing was on point...but then he cried at the end…for no apparent reason.
Big Sean, Kanye and John Legend won an award for a song with a social message; Big Sean, who I still think is only famous for fucking a couple of white women, gave a very moving speech about a black woman in his family. It was lovely.
Miley reappears as a rainbow square, I thought it was adorable, actually.
Tori Kelly…she is only slightly less than mediocre because of the one drop rule I guess (she’s part Jamaican). Only live vocal aside from Demi and she rocked it. Performance of the night so far.
Then there was a commercial about some weird agency called White Squad offering services where people of color can actually be regarded as human beings using the privilege of white people…it was a much too vulgar for my taste…like, people are
being murdered in cold blood, not just unable to hail cabs or live in nice apartments.
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| ...best performance of the night |
Taylor Swift gave Kanye the
Vanguard award, which was fitting because he made her. He got up there, didn’t seem to know what to do with himself…and then he appeared to apologize to Taylor for the umpteenth time and THEN STARTED RANTING YESSSSS KANYEEEEEEEEEE YESSS…and then it turned out to be his speech for--HIS RUN FOR PRESIDENT THIS AWARD SHOW JUST GOT SO GOOD I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF OMGGGGG.
Miley comes back looking like a well-tailored disco ball. Here for it.
Pharrell Williams…sings a song called “Freedom”…I wanted it to be so much more than what he was serving, but he’s a Miley apologist so…
Asap Rocky and 21 pilots…I saw another white person rapping and I turned it down.
Taylor gets video of the year…whatever. She brings up all her prop friends and made a little white feminist speech and then I saw Miley’s nipple and I knew the end was near…
…then a bunch of random people came out…I feel like they were some sort of trendy sexuality thing…Gigi Gorgeous was in there, I kind of live for her.
Finally, Miley sang about being trash...I felt like I was high and I’ve never done drugs. Remember when she sang about “the climb” and hanging out with her friends…?
Shit, remember when Beyoncé was there?
Fashion Stuff...nobody failed, but this is sort of a fashion blog so I'll be as critical as possible...
Faves; there were lots this year
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| Goddess Nicki in one of my favorite looks of all time from her; she's putting La Bourjoisie on the map. |
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| Another La Bourjoisie number on Godney; she always knows how to rock a glitter mini and it was perfectly styled. |
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| I loved how Chrissy's messy updo accentuated the details in this dress; this was my favorite black sheer number. |
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| Gigi slayed; the simple, sleek styling really helped set this off. |
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| At this point, it's Ciara's job to just show up and look amazing; I'm not even into this level of fringe application, but the gold accents made it look so opulent and striking. By Alexandre Vauthier. |
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| I sort of hate her these days but she is still the standard when it comes to event dressing...I love the hair pulled back and the shoes. |
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| An ethereal princess look from one of my style icons, Vanessa Hudgens. |
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| I secretly stan for Kat Graham; she's so gorgeous and her style is always so fun and edgy. Everything from the print, to the lantern bag, to the stunning hair and make up was on point--the more I look, the more I love it. |
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| I'm still trying to get into her music, but I have no trouble accepting her style; FKA Twigs is in her own lane. I can't really hate especially with the nicely juxtaposed styling of this edgy look. From the neck up, it's neat and tidy and from the neck down, undone and sexy--here for it. |
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| I'm always here for fashion with a message and this was brilliant. |
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| I don't even know who this white girl is (apparently she's fucking Miley), but this dress was just so bold yet perfectly structured I just had to include it just because it's rare to see something that is both garish and elegant. It's by Moschino a label that is quickly becoming one of my faves. |
Fashion Shortfalls...I mean, they tried but like...
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| Rita Ora was simply too short for this number. The more bold her choices are on the carpets she shows up at, the more people are going to wonder why she's there... |
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| Cute dress, but unfortunately the color washed her out. At least she was smart enough not to pair it with that try-to-hard over-dyed hair we saw from her previously. |
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| Her pose says it all, Selena is a "cool mom". Did she have to pair this heavy unflattering look with such ugly, clunky shoes? |
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| Tinashe is so adorable, but here she just looks a little unfinished with the styling and this look would have been great on stage, but on the carpet she just looks like a Fanta girl who thinks she's too big for her britches. |
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| Kylie is usually on the other side of my critique, but this Balmain dress took so much away from her allegedly enhanced figure. It's just a very expensive wicker basket. |
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| I know this is an obvious critique, but I'm mad because this Versace look could have been glorious, but the styling ruined it...I guess it's fitting that she's the one wearing it. |
sources: tumblr (my edits) and me.
Welp, that was wild from start to finish and definitely entertaining…not exactly for the right reasons though. Yes there were more than enough problematic moments that I’m too tired to review in depth, but I feel as though the show itself lived up to the VMA standard of controversy that keeps people talking. Overall, I thought it leaned more on the provocative rather than offensive side despite all the blatant whitewashing…but maybe I’m just numb to all the fuckery at this point.
